Lived Experience Forum

[BlueBay]

Good to hear @The-red-centaur xx

[Queenie]

Great to hear @The-red-centaur. How are you feeling within yourself now?

[The-red-centaur]

@Queenie I feel the best I've felt in a while actually. I'm looking into the future positively and I really hope that lasts.

[Queenie]

That's really awesome @The-red-centaur, long may it continue! 🙂

[utopia]

@The-red-centaur such great news. So all settled down. No more chest pain.

[The-red-centaur]

I ended back in hospital for my mh over the weekend. They also reviewed the heart meds and increased them. Looks like things aren't getting better.

[The-red-centaur]

I feel like I should have just suicided when I wanted to on the weekend

[Sans911]

@The-red-centaur - I'm so sorry you are in so much emotional pain that makes you like living is too hard. I just wanted to let you know I'm here if you want to talk or I'm here to offer silent comfort if that's what you want as well.

[The-red-centaur]

@Sans911 thanks. I've been suicidal on and off for a long time. I've nearly died a few times and tbh that doesn't even scare me. I feel like I don't deserve to be alive

[Sans911]

I understand completely @The-red-centaur. I've been in your position too many times to mention and I feel the same right now.

What stops you though taking that final steps? I don't like to think I have hope, instead I remain curious as to what might be next for me. So keeps you living even when feel like you don't want to live?

Like you, I'm not scared if death. I'm scared of living like this forever.