Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[outlander]

hello @Sophia1
I didn't get a notification for your post but got the email thankfully. Sorry if it seemed I was ignoring you, ill let the mods know the notifications are still scattered for me.

I guess I manage the way I do because in some ways this is 'normal' to me even though its not all that normal for people my age.
I am disappointed in myself for starting to SH again. Its like an addiction once you start its really hard to stop. When I was stopping last time after shing so may times a day it was actually causing like physical pain. im not sure how to describe it, you know how when your tense all your muscles tense up and hurt? fighting those urges not to sh was kind of like that till that urge passed. it took me a long time to ride out those urges and even put it aside and leave it behind and now its like I have to start all over again :face_with_rolling_eyes:😐
but... since ive stopped before and got through that once I guess I can do it again. Will just have to take it day by day and deal with things as they come hey. i will try not to be to hard on myself- i know.. easier said then done but worth a shot right.

How are you going? Has your pain eased at all and depression lifting abit?

Love and friendship to you too 💙

[Sophia1]

@outlander 

never think that you ignore me..

quite the opposite..

I was intrigued by the conversation between yourself and Sherry..

brilliant...

We all can give different support..

Sherry was able to connect far better with you than I was because I have no experience of that..

You mentioned about feeling guilty having those feelings return...

that is the case with every "mental health illness"....I hate that terminology...needed to use it now so that I do not confuse you..

Clinical depression or whatever the latest name is for me feels like a death sentence...this will probably get censored..

have been in and out all of my life...

so understand totally the feeling of oh should be able to deal with this now...feeling worse even...

that is our mind patterned thinking telling us that by the way...

our mind seems to want us or the unwell part of our mind wants us to go back and listen to the controlling part...

of course when it first hits ...boom...reconnection...past thinking...

when we question this because we have overcome past...painful memories are then brought to the surface...possibly part of the mind game..

you might understand what I am trying to say or it might sound jibberish...

bottom line..

everything that you talk about on here with others and put in place is part of your journey for recovery which is going to lead to opportunities for you ....they are waiting..

Sophia 💜💜

ps love the gems ..I have a pink quartz that was a gift many years ago...still with me..

@Former-Member a lovely suggestion xx

[outlander]

Hi @Sophia1 thank you ❤
I understand what you mean and its not gibberish at all.
I dont think a mental health diagnosis defines a person. More just a piece of the puzzle. For me it answered questions as to why i act and think the way do. While its not ideal it is a piece of me.

Today was awful but I did have an interesting conversation with someone earlier today. The questions they asked made me think about things that come naturally to me. Interesting to see them thinking too. My own maturity amazes at me at times. I like conversations that allow me to grow. And then theres some days im looking for my phone thats in my hand 😏

The pink gem was a lovely gift. I am grateful for you and my friends here.

[Sophia1]

@outlander @Former-Member 

it is a lovely feeling when we surprise ourselves with what comes out of our mouths laugh..

I forget that I am acually intelligent so why should I be surprised.

makes me laugh actually.,.

definitely is a part of my personality

💚

[outlander]

@Sophia1

[outlander]

sorry, its ok. 

[outlander]

@Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Former-Member @Smc @Shaz51
are any of you guys around for a chat atm?

[Former-Member]

I am about @outlander  can I help you?

[outlander]

im quite stressed and worried @Former-Member