Lived Experience Forum

[NOODLES]

Hey my name is Abbigayle. I just got diagnosed with major depression with anxiety symptoms, complex PTSD and borderline personality disorder with multiple personality symptoms.

 I've known for about 10 or more years that I've had voices inside my head and that they took control of me... but only in the past 6 years have they become so much more defined and controlling.

How the fuck do you deal with this shit man???!!!

I was told by the blue knot foundation only because I asked them but they said that it is possible for random parts of my other personalities to be present whilst Abbigayle is present at the same time and that with me they can be present like.... how I dress... black is all thanks to stepheny, listening to slipknot and lamb of God and amon amarth are all a part of George, big bright colors and rainbows and little kid things and being messy and watching little kids shows and movies.... that's Sally.... but there are times where all at the same time I want to go for a skate, listen to slipknot, wear all black, cuddle my teddybear and be around the ocean at the same time!!!!!! Skating and the ocean are a part of abbigayle herself. But me... abbigayle.... is physically disabled now and cant go anywhere without my walker.

Any kind of shared experience would be appreciated just so I know I'm not alone.

[SleepyPanda]

Hi @NOODLES

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your experiences. 

I can only imagine that your circumstances are complex and challenging. There are a lot of kind and caring members here in the forum, and I hope you find your time here useful. 

I hope this link here can assist you to find more information and services in regards to your situation.

Also, you might find it helpful to use the search function to find stories similar to your own in the forum, and then by using the @mention function it will send that member an email to let them know that you have mentioned them in your post. 

Take care.

SleepyPanda

Moderator

[Former-Member]

Hi @NOODLES 

Having the combination of the things you have mentioned would be pretty hard to deal with. It’s very hard not to have those things control you... might be more times where you’re mental illnesses override the actual you...

Theres many that suffer here and many that are still suffering not on here.. you are not alone with mental illness.

It’s a big ride -hopefully in time you will come out the other side 

[Chamomile]

Hi @NOODLES,

This sounds so hard. Thank you for sharing. You are definitely not alone, though I can understand how what you are going through would be isolating, and that it could seem that way. You might want to check out these links where other members with DID have shared thier experiences:

Content/trigger warning

here

here

[Shaz51]

hello @NOODLES and welcome to the forum my friend

keep talking to us , you are not alone my friend xxxxx