Lived Experience Forum

[Dolphin98]

My love for life was taken away when I lost my mum. I miss my old self. I was so happy, and I loved life. It’s unbearable. The pain that’s kept so buried under my smile I put on show every day that I go to work, or see family. It’s heartache that just never disappears. A song on the radio can take me back to the exact moment I watched her take her last breath. How does one get past this? 

It’s so hard to put all of this onto someone. Everyone is going through their own issues in life, and I respect that. But I have been told to try and find my happy place, and somehow I stumbled upon this forum. 

[NatureLover]

Hi, welcome @Dolphin98 ...I'm sorry for your loss 😢

Do you have a counsellor to help you in your grief? 

There is also Griefline 1300 845 745.

You can type anything into the Search bar above to find threads on that topic, like grief.

Also, a handy forum tip to tag someone is to type @ and then click on their name in the drop-down box - that way they'll get a notification that you've replied to them. 

I hope you find the forums supportive...

[tyme]

Hey @Dolphin98 ,

I'm hearing you. I'm hearing how much you loved life and how much the passing of your mum has understandably impacted you. You are not alone.

Grief is a very natural process. Talking about loss can be helpful in supporting you to process the grief. As @NatureLover  mentioned, Griefline may be a good place to begin. 

Any loss can be tough. We are so glad you have reached out. Hopefully, as you connect with others, you will experience a sense of belonging as you process this loss.

We are sitting with you.

[Dolphin98]

Hi @NatureLover,

Thank you for even taking the time to write something back to me. It’s people like you in the world that I wish I was surrounded by more often. 

It has taken me a long time, 6 years to be exact, to really understand what I am feeling and the core of these emotions. I am struggling to reach out to professionals as that’s when I know it will all be that much more real. 

[Dolphin98]

Hi @tyme,

Your response has put a smile on my face. A genuine smile. Thank you for taking the time to reach out, and I am so beyond grateful to know that there are people here on this forum that understand.

Thank you. 

[tyme]

How are you my dear @Dolphin98 ?

Loss and grief is real. There's no magic formula about how or how long one takes to recover.

But know that life is there waiting for you. Opening up to your hurt is not something to be shameful about. 

We are here to support you. You are not alone.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Do you have supports in place to guide you through?

[Dolphin98]

Hi again @tyme.

It’s amazing how someone I have never met before, can make such an impact by just saying the simple words of ‘You are not alone’. That’s what I constantly feel, alone. I’m so lost and angry at myself as to why I am continually like this, and why I can’t shake it off like others and see the beauty of what life has to offer, even after experiencing such loss. 

As for support, whoever is reading this forum, you know more about what I am feeling in this very moment more than anyone close to me in my life does. 

[tyme]

@Dolphin98 , I just want you to know that there are REAL people on these forums. Real people with REAL experiences. I myself have experienced years of loneliness. Not because I didn't have people around me. I had plenty of people around me, but I was dying inside. Dying of loneliness. 

These very forums supported me to reflect on my own recovery. I connected with people and learnt that I was not alone. That's what helped me heal. It didn't do the healing for me, but it empowered me to make changes to better myself.

I learnt that change was in MY hands. I also learnt that change was not easy.

Long story short, I have an intense love for life now. It wasn't an easy journey, but I know that with the support of others like you, I'm here today.

You CAN do it. That zest for life can be rekindled. This is just a hiccup in the road.

[tyme]

Heya @Dolphin98 ,

Just wanted to see how you are today. I've been thinking about you and hope you have a pleasant day today @Dolphin98 

tyme

[NatureLover]

Hi @Dolphin98 , thanks for your kind words. 

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@Dolphin98 wrote:

It has taken me a long time, 6 years to be exact, to really understand what I am feeling and the core of these emotions.

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Well done for this. Some people go through life never learning this. 

Yes, therapy is hard. But it can give some healing, with perseverence. I've got a lot of healing through therapy.