Forums Home

Carers Forum

Acceptance, connection, support. Share the journey.

Safe, anonymous discussion for people living with mental illness, moderated 24/7 by mental health professionals.

Read the community guidelines
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Something’s not right

Casual Contributor

How can i get back to normal?


i am trapped. i am running out of strength. we have gone through regular episodes where my husband gets upset about something and then feels he is useless and withdraws into himself, not talking, not eating, not drinking (this is the 3rd day he has eaten nothing). just sleeping, feels terrible, does some of what he has to do and back to bed. not enjoying anything or being part of the family. he was on medication previously and the same thing happened.  he has been off all medication for 3 months now and just crashed again. this is the 6th time in 18 months. i feel like running away but know it will be no help. How can i help things get back to normal?



Re: How can i get back to normal?

Hi @Fearful,


Welcome to the forums! It is so great that you have reached out, sounds like a really hard time for you at the moment. It can be so challenging to have a loved one struggling and getting to a point where you feel quite helpless and lost and you are quite impacted. 


Just thought it might be useful to note, we also have a 'carers' side of the forum here which is a space people share their experiences with a loved one who is dealing with mental health issues. You may like to post this in there as well - or even just have a look around as many others have similar understnadings of supporting a loved one. If you would prefer, I am happy to move this post over there, just let me know. 


You will gain plenty of support on both sides though - our community is full of supportive people who will share their knowledge with you or even just be there with you while you work through things. Smiley Happy

Re: How can i get back to normal?

Thankyou for your understanding.

Yes i am happy for you to move it to the carers forum - wasnt really sure how/where to start... but needed to tell someone 


Re: How can i get back to normal?

Hi @Fearful


Welcome to the forum and good on ya for reaching out. I suffer from bp1 and have only recently experienced my low moods.


My appetite disappears and I have no motivation. What might help is talking about what his passion is or watching your favourite TV show or movie together anything that might have positive memories tied to it.


My wife is in the same position as you I think she copes by just trying to see a smile from me anyway she can.


I understand it will be extremely hard from your side but all you can do is keep trying 


Take care, kind regards 

Re: How can i get back to normal?

@Fearful. You don't mention what your husband's diagnosis is. Although it sounds like a depressive episode. And it sounds like he needs to be back on his meds.

Does he have a psychiatrist that he sees? And what about a psychologist?  The psychiatrist will diagnose and recommend the medication.  The psychologist will do the talk therapy and teach your husband techniques to help him.

He may need to stay on medication for years and years.  Like I do. As I have major depression. 

Your husband won't get better without help - professional help. When the depression hits it's hard to do anything. 

Talk to his mental health team or even your gp. Drag him to the gp if you can.

Unfortunately many people stop taking their medication when they feel better.  But it's the medication that is helping.

Re: How can i get back to normal?

Thank you @utopia


He has never been properly diagnosed. GP has given him anti-depressants following a tragic happening in the family. This did help but he hated how it made him feel and the side effects. he was changed to another anti-depressant after a period of no meds for 4 months. this only worked to a certain extent - still had bad episodes of not communicating and physically unable to do things. then a few months ago the gp tried another med but it made him hallucinate and stack on the weight so stopped it after a month and hasnt been back. i have suggested a specialist but as he feels the GP doesnt know what to do he feels that there is no point. 

Re: How can i get back to normal?

@Fearful. Gp's can be helpful - but being that he suffered a trauma and has had trouble with the meds, it's best to be assessed by a psychiatrist.  A proper diagnosis and treatment plan is needed.

Try and take him to the gp and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist.  And explain to the gp how worried you are about your husbands mental health. 

Your husband should be  monitored by a psychiatrist regarding his medication.  Gp's justaaren't trained enough in mental health,  but they are a good starting point. 

Also ask for a referral to a psychologist - as medication alone will not fix the problem.  

Your husband is struggling.  It must be hard for you to see. Keep supporting him to get help. And hopefully in a few months you will start to get your husband back.

Re: How can i get back to normal?

Hi @Fearful, meds don't work for me much. Depressive episodes are hard but he also seems a bit "can't really do anything about it". Is he employed, occupied? I can't recommend a lot, but I won't say "take meds" as a lot of contributors do, but I can say that a lot of things start in the gut. Good health food, less sugar and bad carbs. Cook foods he might even have enjoyed as a child, or fruits and vegetables. I do take a natural approach to things and this year I started changing food habits and a lot of things went uphill, not everyday is great, but they are considerably better. Amazing how food can heal. Good luck.

Re: How can i get back to normal?

@tinolatin @Fearful @utopia @Pitz @Lauz


how are you @Fearful @? 

@utopia @tinolatin ? 


I'm PeppiPatty and hope there is changes happening.

Please write when you have time..... 


Re: How can i get back to normal?


Oops I missed taking yesterday's anti depressants. Slept all day til 5pm today. Then took today's morning AD's. Not ideal but better than not taking them. So a bit flat this morning. Hoping when I wake up today, and take my meds on time, that I'll be doing better.

How are you PP? 

For urgent assistance, call: