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My boss gaslit me for 3 months, so I quit my job and can't leave the house.

So since the new boss turned up at work 3 months ago, him and his girlfriend(who is a co-worker) have made it their mission to tell me how everything i do is wrong despite the fact I am doing things correctly, good at my job, and they are still learning the ropes themselves (so have no idea what they are doing, they have made massive mistakes which could lose the company business, but whatever). She (despite her having no experience in this field, and being technically my equal) has often reprimanded me in front of her partner, and the overwhelming impression I got from the beginning is that they would do anything it takes to be rid of me. Come end of last week and I cracked, handing in resignation to head office, effective immediately. Since then, the tattling has continued, head office has emailed me a few times asking where this is, why didn't I do that etc, I've emailed replies back with my reasoning (and there's been no reprimand by head office either, its as though they understand this manager has been a jerk). 

 

Problem is, since then I can't bring myself to leave the house without having panic attacks, I cry alot for no reason too and have no energy. It's a small town and with the work that our company performs, the likelihood of running into them even if i duck out to the shops is quite high. They also live next door to several other staff and have always made a big deal about being 'best friends' with them (even to the point there was a very thinly veiled suggestion that their male neighbour who is a casual worker was going to be given my position.

 

Sorry for the long story, but I put my heart and soul into this job for almost 8 years, and I enjoyed what I do. The town is so small I cant even go work for another company is the same industry, and theres not much work out anyway. Now I can't even leave the house without getting upset and i dont even talk to friends or family anymore because i dont want to cry or lose the plot.

 

3 REPLIES 3

Re: My boss gaslit me for 3 months, so I quit my job and can't leave the house.

Hi @Aloneinparadise , welcome to the forums, its nice to meet you.  Wish it was under slightly better circumstances, but, thats how it is.  I'm not sure what to suggest, it seems like you are in an impossible position.  No need to be sorry for your story, it sounds like you have been put through helll and living in a small town is going to make things more diffucult than it might otherwise be.

 

It seems very unfair that you have had this happen to you given the hard work and effort you have put into this business.  Could you maybe talk to head office further and see if there might be a role you could do remotely or from home?  You have been an asset to the company for a long time.

 

Maybe try and get a friend to accompany you when you have to leave the house so you have some support with you?  Try and leave in business hours when you know they aren't likely to be around?  

 

My heart and thoughts really go out to you, it seem's you have been put in a terrible situation by thoughtless, mean and unprofessional people. Wish I could be more helpful, perhaps others will chime in.  Wishing you all the best.

 

ps: if you tag me with @Gazza75 , i'll get notified of your reply

Re: My boss gaslit me for 3 months, so I quit my job and can't leave the house.

hey @Aloneinparadise

Sounds like one hell of a problem. Thank you for sharing it though.

Could you try and get in contact with job search support in your area? By using 8 years of experience you may be able to find something a bit different or vaguely similar to what you were doing? There's no shame in finding help from assistance services.

I think workplace politics can be a real problem - when people start acting up the way you've described your colleagues. Sounds like you know what's going on more than them which is cause for you to be confident in your own ability I think.

@Gazza75 has some good pointers too

Re: My boss gaslit me for 3 months, so I quit my job and can't leave the house.

Another welcome to the forum @Aloneinparadise, it sounds like you've been through a lot so it's understandable that you're under so much stress. Are you able to ask your ex-employer if you can get some support through their EAP? 

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