Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[TideisTurning]

An awful feeling @bipolarbunny. Wishing you whatever strength you need to ride out these rough waves and holding hope there'll be a calmer seas ahead.

[Shaz51]

@bipolarbunny, also having  like myaged care, respite for you mum helps 

i know it is hard as my mum wont go anywhere and does not want strangers coming into the house 

[Windflowers]

Nearly all of the above at different times in my last few years. I have found my Psychologist the most useful person for strategies, but sometimes I'm just too exhausted and scrambled in my thinking to do anything. Sometimes just putting one foot in front of the other and sticking to the essential routines is the only way forward. I do find walking the dog, who is very insistent!!!!! is usually helpful....unless I get cranky with him too. But he doens't complain, just keeps asking for more cuddles and games!

[znp]

Run by Helping Minds, it is for carers of BPD loved ones. I'd suggest it's useful for more than that, but it is focused on this.

[Daisydreamer]

I really love that you posted the importance of the physical signs of burnout @Shaz51. So often we talk about the emotional aspects of burnout, but it can also have massive physical health implications. The connection between body and mind is really strong, and making sure we looking after all parts of ourselves is important for preventing burnout. 

The first signs of burn out for me are a drop in attention, headaches, dizziness, lethargy and difficulty comprehending. Often this is when I need to step up my self care to make sure I can bounce back fast. Listening to those warning signs help me maintain my wellbeing

[bipolarbunny]

@znp Nothing as far as she is concerned it is my job to care for her, because "they have their own lives to live". My family is extremely toxic and my mother has narcissistic personality disorder, a lot of childhood abuse & neglect I have to swallow down as well as dealing with my c-ptsd & bipolar in private because none of them care and my mother's needs come first as far as everyone is concerned. It's a very messy situation. But regardless she is still my mum and I can't abandon her. Guilt would be too much too bear. But yes some days I barely cope. 

BB 🐰💙

[Mindy911]

✨Im sorry to hear that✨My sister has the same problem, she looks after our dad full time✨I live in a different country and go back to give her a break whenever I can✨But now with covid we are in lockdown in AU and I cant help✨😢Can you get someone trustworthy to come to your home and support your mum there in a familiar place so you take a break✨ @bipolarbunny 

[Shaz51]

Sometimes just putting one foot in front of the other and sticking to the essential routines is the only way forward. I do find walking the dog, who is very insistent!!!!! is usually helpful.-- very true @Windflowers 

lots of times i have felt like I am going through the motions 

@Emelia8, I am sure you have felt the same way 

[Daisydreamer]

There are tough days where one foot in front on the other is a big achievement @Windflowers, I admire your strength  

[znp]

Oh, that is terrible, and so unfair. It should not be your job to care for her. In fact it sounds like you do it from love, which is more than can be said for your brothers. I wish I had some words to offer to help. @bipolarbunny