Where do I go from here

[NZvet]

Good afternoon.

Content/trigger warning

My SO of 5 years removed herself from life on Monday morning.  I walked in to wake her and found her lying on the bedroom floor.

She medically discharged from the RAN with MS and since then had struggled with PTSD. She was heavily bullied while in and she would have nightmares about it. Medical help and Psychiatric help was given.  I'm now lost... she was the longest relationship ive ever had and the only person who understood my cPTSD from my own Childhood and Service Traumas. 

I randomly found this group on Facebook and thought I'd post.

[Ru-bee]

Hello @NZvet and welcome to the forums.

I am so sorry for your loss. Words can feel inadequate when it comes to this, but I just want to share my sincere condolenses. 

I'm very glad that you have found this forum and that you've felt able to post and I do hope that you will feel the support of the community during this time.

I did also just want to share another resource that you may not have heard of: Standby offer support specifically for those who have been affected by suicide

We're here for you 💜

[NZvet]

Thank you. I've downloaded Standbys flyer.

We are not 100% sure if it was suicide or if it was an accidental Pain Relief extra dose..

[AlwaysMyself]

Hi @NZvet , im so sorry for the pain you are feeling currently with the grief and loss of a loved one and your main support person. 

It sounds like both of you had been through a lot of painful experiences, and I'm really glad that you were able to find support within each other. I hope you are able to cherish the memories and time together, in honour of her.

I hope her ability to understand and support you in your cPTSD can give you some hope that you may be able to find others who can also understand and provide support for you going forward. There is a Hub "space" for veterans on the forum too, if that is of interest as a way to seek people with more similar experiences to Service.

Thinking of you, and here to help you talk through the grief if that helps.