Feeling a bit anxious

[ArraDreaming]

@tyme Held it all day and then home is just AHH 

its not their fault but im overstimulated because i held it all in today so that now every thing is even more loud and im even more sensitive to it

I did a training day in the city 

had to sit all day couldn’t move around much found it hard to concentrate

i didnt retain anything 

just wanted to get up and move around 

[tyme]

I totally get you! @ArraDreaming 

Did I tell you that I was recently in a 2 day training session and it went for the FULL day? I was so edgy.

The facilitator pulled me aside and asked what was wrong. I didn't say anything. 

Then later, so got upset with me and told me to pay attention and show a bit of respect. I was so so upset with this so I spoke to management, and they sorted it out.

Sometimes, it's good to say something if you are really struggling. Then there are others where we just have to grin and bear it. 

It's days like these that I want ADHD medication to help me focus.

But I just want to say that I totally get it. I know how hard it must have been and that urge to run away would've been so great.

[ArraDreaming]

@tyme Not even really run away but like just to get up and move you know the whole day I was thinking I have to move, I can’t think sitting down here, what is she saying, then I started noticing all the different sounds in the room and it was distracting me and I was trying to unhear them but I couldnt and I had this pen and lid in my jacket pocket I just kept flipping on and off to keep my hands busy then I got hot the jacket had to come off 

Nothing went in my head, then we did group work and I had nothing to share

I ended up escaping early 

My brain was in overdrive from of all that so walking into my house at 5pm was nice until it turned into a post dinner  overstimulating event 

Even though I shouldnt be overstimulated by my own family but when literally everyone is crying, whinging, wants to talk to me about something or pulling at me at once I’m actually gonna lose my mind 

I also have a cracked rib and the kids were all climbing on my tonight 

[ArraDreaming]

But I love my family

[ArraDreaming]

Please don’t think I don’t

[ArraDreaming]

Please don’t think I am angry at them or hurt them

[tyme]

Oh no! @ArraDreaming 

I'm sorry to hear you have a cracked rib! And to have kids climbing all over you! Ouchy!

It sounded like such a hard hard day today. 

Can you get some rest now? 

I wonder if, for future training, you could just sit at the back and walk a bit at the back?

[ArraDreaming]

I meant bruised
But its still sore

Then I had to get the train home because it was in the city
I never go to Melbourne now well not much

I dont know maybe,
I don’t want to be the weirdo
I already found the group stuff hard when nothing was going into my brain there was no like input from the speaker I can only describe it as
I knew she was talking but it just sounded like background noise while every other noise had a microphone to it and I could hear everything else and it was so distracting
So when we did the group things I had nothing to say but also not all of it was relevant to my job

[tyme]

But let's just say there are 5 others in the room who feel exactly like you. There's gotta be the first 'weirdo' to stand and walk around... and then for the next and the next. @ArraDreaming 

Sometimes, a quite word with the facilitator helps. Otherwise you might get 'burnt' like me and old to show respect infront of the entire audience!

[ArraDreaming]

Yeah Tyme no good they said that hey 

I don’t think I have the courage to do that 

I feel embarrassed that I think different and find sitting down learning so hard 

It is SO hard for me 

At work there are times I need to sit at the community and I just cant sometimes I have to be moving 

and I’m not physically moving my body my brain is too busy to focus 

I just cannot 

This training day was big though, there was people from different sections of the organisation because even though I am a gardener i am technically in aged care so there was so many people from different roles across the different villages there