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Hey @TheRenegade345
I'm so glad you're ok. Thanks so much for letting me know as things can be uncertain on the forums when this happens.
Your last question: 'What do I have to do to show to a woman that I am actually a decent and interesting human being?'
The answer to this isn't easy because it's probably not what you want to hear. You 'show' a woman what you're made of by believing those things about yourself. Lack of confidence and self loathing will be felt by [us] within minutes, even if you try to hide it.
I've come to understand through my own experiences, that relationships aren't cracked up to be the romanticised versions we see on TV or movies; they're bloody hard work. If you're not emotionally and mentally well, this will impede your ability to cope and manage problems that may exist once you find someone you like/love.
Making statements to yourself (and me) like 'I’m considered repulsive by all women' does nothing but perpetuate a cycle of self abuse and worries those who care about you. The anger you're holding onto will be directed at self and loved ones just like last night; it's just not healthy.
Wishing your life away and expressing pent up hatred really needs to be addressed with intensive therapy young one. (In my opinion) You're worth so much more than what you're currently feeling towards yourself and others.
I'm really glad you went to hospital because it's the most beneficial place for you when this happens. You're safe and that's what matters.
The people you saw on FB are living their own lives separate from you and your memories. I'm sorry it triggered you though, I do understand how things can escalate once you get side-tracked. Please just know there are people who care about you now...they're (we're) the ones to focus on.
Take care till next time;
Hope (hug) 
👵💌
It's ok @TheRenegade345, don't worry.
I can't say too much tonight, just know I've read your posts and will get back to you tomorrow. Try and take things easy till then ✌
Hope 👵
Hi there @TheRenegade345 just touching in to see how you're travelling, where are you sitting with all of this now?
Are you able to e-mail our crew at team@saneforums.org? We just want to check we have your correct e-mail on hand in case you need to be linked into some extra support
Heya @TheRenegade345 sounds like a tough few days, but also incredible some of these reflections. You are right, anger is not an inherently bad emotion. In fact it's always a secondary emotion, there's almost always a reason for it, an underlying cause. Sometimes it can help to find outlets for anger, have you considered any options? I know for me going for a run or heading to boxing is quite helpful, but some prefer yoga etc. Gratitude is powerful too, please know you are not alone re: relationships, it is a universal challenge that one We thank you for sharing, this community will sit with you without judgement 🙂
Thanks for the e-mail too, it helps us when you're feeling unsafe to make sure you're linked to the right supports.
OMG! It's so great to know you're feeling this way. Acceptance and moving forward as you obviously are, is a major step in recovery. Kudos and well done!!!
Yes, home truths tend to 'get in' don't they? I've had a few wake-up calls over the years. My little sis told me she felt intimidated by me about 20 years ago. I cried for 3 hours because I love her dearly and never wanted to hurt or scare her. That's when I began looking at myself and changing the way I communicated with people. It's been a work in progress, but the benefits are worthwhile I can assure you.
Unfortunately R, I'm spending a lot of time finally getting my business off the ground. I won't be logging in much, but will endeavour to respond when I can. I think you're in a positive mindset which helps me feel a little less worried than I might be.
You take care of yourself and keep pushing forward with uni. You can do eeeet!!! 😜
Till next time;
Hope 👵
