Our stories
Hi again @TheRenegade345 🖐
Firstly, you're welcome.
I'm really loving your new sense of self. It's a pleasure reading about your feelings and the changes you're making in your life. Well done!!!
I hope your weekend went well. Mine was quiet, but hey, that's me and it's what I like. I'm considered different to my family/friends who are always busy with full days. I guess I used to be that way, but now it's a blessing to have peace and quiet. (since my breakdown)
That's the thing R; being independently different as an individual is admired, but often not 'said'. My sis and I spent a lovely night together talking over coffee which rarely happened. During our discussions she mentioned how jealous she'd been of me. To say I was shocked is an understatement; she floored me!
She was the pretty one; the charismatic one, whereas I on the other hand was a plain Jane. I admitted the jealousy I'd felt since we were little and we both talked about how sad it was we never spoke of it to each other.
She went on to say my individuality and will to follow my own path, mistakes included, was something she'd always wanted but could never find within herself; she wasn't brave enough. I travelled and followed my career here in Oz and in NZ where my spirit took me to places, people and situations she'd only dreamed about.
So even though your differences might seem to isolate you, the fact is, they set you apart; you are a rare spice Renegade. Comparing yourself to others and their experiences is futile for this reason.
My business is in a specialised field of counseling. Again, I'm different to other generalised practitioners. That doesn't mean I limit opportunities for clients either, it just means I need to put myself out there in the right areas so they can find me. And yes, it is exciting. I just need to get a handle on my insecurities and create new routines for it to flourish.
I do hope you can appreciate the concept I'm referring to. I know myself and what I want to achieve which is pretty damned amazing when you think about it; don't you agree? Many people live their whole lives searching for who they are; you and I are the lucky ones. 🌈✌😊
It's actually been quite therapeutic writing this post. The Universe can be surprisingly efficient at providing the right opportunity for our needs.
Until next time, take care;
Kind thoughts;
Hope xo 
👵
Hey @TheRenegade345
It's wee hours of the morning; had bad thoughts in bed so I made a cuppa. Trying to force myself to sleep is more exhausting than staying up. So here I am...
It seems you've got yourself in a tither again hun. It doesn't take much to set you off hey. I'm wondering if you're a jealous type or a competitive type. I'm more the latter. To be honest, I don't think there's much difference between the two.
I'm sorry I haven't responded before now. I wish I had've seen these posts earlier; I maybe could've slowed the bell curv effect from escalating. You must admit, reading each one and seeing the progressive change that's occurring is a bit of a concern. The level of anger you express towards women especially.
You asked a couple of questions earlier that gives some insight into your confusion about that elusive gap between the sexes. They're a really normal response to rejection; for men and women alike. We've all been there I can assure you.
My life has been full of situations and events that would curl your hair, and if you knew, (which I'd never do to you) you might find some sense of understanding that both genders struggle with self esteem, confidence and being liked. It's how we cope (or don't) that makes us stand out from the crowd.
I'm sorry you feel so deeply emotional about your quest for love and companionship. Reality's a hard pill to swallow sometimes, I get that. Knowing your crush is now unattainable would be a huge let-down. I'm not surprised you're upset about it.
What concerns me more though, is how things escalate into blind rage that's aimed outward and then toward yourself. I feel it's something to work on with your psychologist or psychiatrist as soon as you settle and get the chance.
I hope you're ok and haven't done anything silly. You know I care just as your loved ones obviously do, but there's a limit to what we can achieve from the outside looking in.
You're an intelligent and vibrant young man who's admired by others; you've said so yourself. So wherever this is coming from is inside you. I'm not going to tell you to love youself because that's a last-ditch effort for frustrated counsellors. I will say though, the only person on this planet you can truly count on, is you. Without you in your corner, just as I'm being now, what will life be like?
I'd like to suggest a couple of movies that may give you better perspective on your perceived situation. The first is called; 'Me Before You' and the other's called; 'Breathe'. Oddly they're both made in the UK. Europe's so much better at drama than the Yanks. :face_with_rolling_eyes:
Apart from the aspects I'm asking you to observe, they're bloody well made movies, so you should enjoy them whether you get the gist of what I'm saying or not.
Take care till next time young one;
Hope 👵
