General chat

[Patches59]

Hi @Dimity, new thread with new heading … thinking this might be best.  
I now know we both have lots of things off the forums that are on our minds and causing concerns/worries for respective person.  Not going into things I’m trying to deal with apart from to say they are causing emotion upsets for me.  
Something I don’t want to talk about is plants, flowers etc.  sensitive topic due to not knowing when or if I’ll even get garden in backyard.

Your back fence, if prefer I don’t ask about it, Please let me know

i feel you prefer I cease mentioning my physical health issues and upcoming treatments I’m to have, apology if this is not the case.  
there are things related to the forums which have left me feeling unwanted and that I don’t belong.  None of these relate to you.  

here if you feel up to talking 

[Dimity]

Hi Patches59. Nice idea.  Thanks.

Yes a lot is going on, both for me and on the forums. 

My back fence certainly isn't a sensitive topic. I'm just peeved it's difficult to organise and I haven't been able to do much more as I've had other commitments. 

And I have absolutely no objection to hearing about your physical health. In fact I've been concerned for you and wanted to support you so I'm sorry that hasn't come across. We've both had cataract operations done not so long ago and I have some pain issues but nothing like what you're experiencing.  I'm more than happy to keep across how you're going with it all, and hearing your plans for treatment. I'm not always good with small talk and social niceties but the lack of words doesn't mean there's not a depth of feeling and empathy.

Shaz and I can indulge our love of plants elsewhere, and I trust things will eventually work out for you. 

Things blew up with my online banking access a couple of days ago which is a big worry but hopefully I'll get it sorted. 

Tiger is a much happier boy after getting his arthritis injection earlier this week. He's  eating better, more mobile (he has 3 legs) and not as stressed. I talked to the vet about increasing the frequency of injections and adding pain relief to the mix if/when he needs it.

Tons of family problems I can't talk about. The angst has been there a loooong time. The forums especially the trauma threads do help though.

I try to support new people sometimes if I feel I have something to contribute but feel an outsider in most people's personal threads. I try to respect the thread owner and feel sensitive about possibly intruding unless I'm tagged.

Sorry for the long post. A lot to say. I'm relieved we're able to talk about it. Please don't feel awkward about raising problems or saying how you feel, I think that's an important part of being here.

[Dimity]

@Patches59 I see my tag didn't work.

Hope you can see my post.

[Dimity]

@tyme I hope these posts don't disappear like my other ones

[Patches59]

@Dimity 

Issues with access to banking would be very stressful and alarming.  Hoping you can get it sorted out quickly.  Hoping hackers have not been involved.

point taken with forum posts and will respect that.  It’s general posts which I was referring to.  Got tired of not being tagged week after week, commented on something one evening, saw conversations taking place over and over for quite awhile.  Felt like I was an onlooker only, signed off.

No disrespect meant to @tyme or others for asking if I’m prepared etc for the nerve block procedures.  Nightmares during the last couple weeks about the procedures say it all.  Last couple weeks I’ve gone down more than one very dark rabbit hole relating to the procedures and fears of possible outcomes.  Have thought about ending it all so the cats can have someone else to take care of them better than I feel I can.

its not the normal arthritic pain people know about that now causing issues.  Even after having lived with OA for approx 50years I didn’t know about or have experience before.  My local dr said the inflammation in my body and impact on my nerve endings is what is causing the problems.  Muscles in upper arms that hurt every morning and have to stretched to work.  Fingers that curl into a ball overnight and are numb in the morning.  Lack of strength in both hands plus lack of fine motor skills (only way I can hold things whilst trying to work of greeting cards is using reverse tweezers)

thats more than enough about me.

its amazing how cats and dogs adjust to not having all 4 legs.  Also how they have the ability to live in the moment.  That the gift of love from someone new, for quite a lot, replaces the fear and memories of dark times in their past.

ive seen situations where family member/s have said things out of complete spite with no regard of the impact on others.  The way my MIL (when she was alive) plus my FIL have been treated by one specific child ….. absolutely horrendous.  As a human race, we treat family members, relatives etc, in some cases, much worse than animals treat their own.

still bit chilly here, time for another heat pack for my fingers

[Dimity]

Oh @Patches59 sending ❤️ and 🫂 

[Dimity]

@Patches59 I'll try to reply properly later. I'm feeling unwell at the moment and can't find the words. 

Take care... you're important and I care about you and hope your day improves 

[Patches59]

Take care @Dimity   Sending healing hugs

no rush to reply

[Dimity]

Hi @Patches59 

Not hackers, bank problems and the branch staff seemed very unwilling to tell me what was happening or help me. I'm trying to change banks now but it's difficult and scary. Because I'll also have to change all my regular payments etc and work out how to do that.

I don't always tag but friends are still welcome to engage, I think most subscribe to threads so are across what's posted. When I was new some people seemed more territorial than others about their threads. 

I do understand about the dark rabbitholes and it's awful. I feared losing my only eye last year. Is it something your psychologist helps with? There's a huge amount of trust involved in agreeing to these things. Your GP can also check things like protocols. My GP checked the likelihood of my tumour being benign  and what should be done since heaven knows how long the specialist waitlist is going to be. Your cats need YOU and placing a bonded pair wouldn't be easy.

Your poor body might have reached a tipping point with the inflammation. I guess you're doing what you can with diet and meds and I don't know whether you'd want to try things like contemplative meditation. The pain clinic suggesting the interventions seems like you're at the stage of needing them.

Re families a friend of mine loves family reunion shows about adoptees and missing family links finding each other with tears of joy and hugs and being thrilled to meet and I try not to think about the ugliness and estrangements in my family. 

Yesterday I saw a YouTube video about some people being in a chronic freeze response. Maybe I'll follow it up.

Hope you have a good night, without pain or nightmares.

[Patches59]

@Dimity Sorry to hear about the problems with the bank.  New bank (or 2nd bank) sounds good option.  Maybe not something you feel up to dealing with currently.

I have accounts with 2 different banks.  My pensions go into account with one bank.  Some direct debits are from that account and others from account with the 2nd bank.  Each fortnight using online banking I transfer money from main account to 2nd account for the direct debits.  

just a thought - companies that your direct debits are for, maybe their staff could update the details over the phone for you.  Community centre might be able to provide help if paperwork needs to be filled out.

main downside of talking with different people via different posts on the forums I find is some times end up repeat typing the same information within different posts.  Going to happen at times I guess.

my GP has said location and doctors I’m seeing are the best and most experienced with these procedures.  I had fears prior to having first cataract surgery, not surprised am feeling similar atm.   Sorry to hear about the tumour, I leave decision to you if want to continue to talk about it or not.

End of this month is my next therapist appointment which is booked in to be face to face.  Last 3 appointments have all been changed to Telehealth appointments at short notice.  Therapist has said she will loan me a book which is about mindfulness and pain.

ive always lived in suburbia, part of my heart belongs in the country though.  I haven’t gotten down to coastal areas so far this year, my mistake.  Since a major issue which sent my into flight mode Ive thought about doing drive to my paternal ancestral town, place where part of me is home.  Approx 4hour drive one way is out of the question atm though.

closest thing I enjoy doing in regards to missing links is researching and updating my family trees. Lots of missing links and unanswerable questions through different generations including things relating to my birth.

hoping you have a quiet, easy going day tomorrow