General chat

[Dimity]

@Patches59 I can understand the physical and mental tiredness. Yet you plug on with your croquet and decluttering... and take time to nurse the cats and do some craft. I really admire you. 

I need to prepare and draft stuff for the next steps with the admin. The dreadful consequences I feared seem less likely, but later consequences might not be good either. And i need to work out what to do about my suspended home help. Today I was dealing with 2 distressed people after another family argument. Thanks for reminding me I need self care. I tend to doomscroll instead and get upset about the news.

Less than a week until your trial procedure. I truly hope it works out for you. 

I feel really rattled by the last few days - the last few weeks, really ,-  actually it's been hard for years. 

I've ordered a new couch cover which will change my colour scheme. I'm hoping it will arrive this week. I'm really looking forward to it.

[AuntGlow]

Hey @Dimity, I have been thinking about you. I know things have been hard as of late, but I am so glad you've been able to come here for support and connection. I am also glad you have a new couch arriving! What a lovely way to make your environment feel more 'you'. What vibe are you going for? 🤩

[Patches59]

@Dimity   Due to my male cat vandalising /almost destroying parts of my previous couches, I bought new couch and 2 armchairs earlier this year.  I also bought couch and armchair covers of different colours.  So easy to change the colour appearance 😺

last couple months has been huge reminder to me that I need to pace myself.  
croquet, reading novels, Lego (or similar) are self care for me.  Life is like a torch.  We use the batteries each day but if we don’t make time for self care, the batteries don’t get recharged.

my therapist had me draw up and use a calendar for awhile to help get me into a pattern.  Calendar includes time allocated for appointments and other essential items as first step.  Then time for things that have time flexibility.  Time spots left become time for oneself, changing timings in first 2 steps if needed.

Impact on current things versus possible repercussions at some stage in the future.  Rhetorical questions ….. are possible future repercussions within your control?    Do they require you to go down the rabbit hole?   Do they warrant your time and energy?     I know how easy things can become overwhelming and spend heaps of time etc worrying about possible future impacts, only making myself unwell by doing so.  Not wanting or needing reply to those questions.

sorry to hear about the family upsets, never easy.  Can be very hard on everyone involved.  Times where self care including just focusing on you might help

what colour covers have you ordered?  Will there be other things you will change to help with changing the colour scheme?

[Dimity]

Thanks for your support @Patches59 @AuntGlow . I didn't get notifications. Your rhetorical questions were very helpful Patches.

The couch cover is a sort of green/yellow/blue kilim theme that picks up on other furnishings and artwork. Very different to my cat-savaged terracotta sofa. I'll  retire my red-themed cushions to the chair in the spare room. I had too many clashing colours.

Your calendar sounds a good idea. My counsellor helped me draft daily routines but the last few weeks have been chaotic and I haven't been looking after myself properly. I haven't been doing my prescribed exercises either. I need to do better. I'm trying  to consciously pause to recognise and diffuse my anxiety as it's been overwhelming. 

The evening is drawing in. Take care.

[AuntGlow]

@Dimity I love that you're exploring new colours, sometimes a change in how we decorate can instantly improve our mood. Do you enjoy plants and pictures too? I am thinking of getting more for my new place... as well as a disco ball and some LED lights!

I am glad to hear your counsellor has helped with some structure, but I completely get why it's been hard to follow with everything that's been going on... I think consciously pausing and recognising when anxiety is present sounds really helpful. What do you do to be kind and nurturing towards yourself in those moments? 💛

[Dimity]

@AuntGlow I guess it's just a physical release. Slow deep breaths, unlocking tensed muscles, moving.  (I've found myself in freeze at times). I haven't identified selfcare activities yet.. except my usual walks... but I've downloaded a contemplative meditation app. Tried it only once and gave up but I'll get back to it. Don't know why I have a mental block about reading, I've attended to the reasons that hindered me.

[Patches59]

I need to get back into routine of doing my exercises also.  Think I need to do a new calendar in hope that helps me get essential things done.  I used to write list of things to be done following day, marking them off as they got done.  Need to go back to that.

today I did get 2 of the things done I wanted to do.  My built in wardrobe is small.  Almost finished 2nd idea of trying to get my clothes away …… back to the proverbial drawing board to try to 3rd idea.

one basket of clean clothing left to put away, no space though.  2 bags of clothing ready to go to op-shop.  1 load of laundry washed and dried.    

Could something visual possibly help you pause when feeling stressed etc and take some time out for self care help?  Eg words you can easily and quickly see

I used to have framed picture of a hand with numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 under the hand.  Only I knew that it was my reminder, thanks to therapist atm, to count to 5 whilst deep breathing.

dvd then time for bed.  Regular blood test in the morning first thing prior to stopping in at pharmacy and grocers.

[AuntGlow]

I always appreciate your awareness and knowing what your body needs @Dimity. 

I think those slow, conscious movements are so helpful when we are in a freeze response. 

Please tell me more about this app! What did/didn't work for you?

Hmm, perhaps sustaining focus in that way is just a little a tricky at the moment? Would you consider audio books at all?

[Dimity]

Well done with sorting your clothes @Patches59 .

I have so much clutter I'm not sure where to put a visual prompt. It's a good idea, just doesn't click for me right now. 

I'm making lists most days. I'm trying to work through things stepwise but have felt overwhelmed.  The goalposts keep shifting. I'm learning more about the legals and financials and still have work to do as well as waiting for outcomes.  

I've decided to ask for family counselling on some stuff. So that's something else to organise.

Grey Army will send someone to look at the fence.

GP tomorrow. It's always hard to make an appointment. There's so much I want to ask about I've written a list for her to triage. 

Cold night here. 

Hope tomorrow goes c well for you.

[Dimity]

Hello @AuntGlow . Sorry I didn't reply. I knew I owed you a reply but couldn't remember which thread. I think I missed replies to you  a few days ago too. I'm scatterbrained and sometimes have to consider what to say. I'm losing track.

My new contemplative meditation app (to be more specific, it's centring prayer) should be helpful I hope. But the first and only time I tried it my nerves were jangling and 3 minutes into the timed silence I realised I wasn't in the right headspace. I'll come back to it.

In the past guided mindfulness has sometimes been easier and more accessible than silent meditation. Plum Village with Thich Nhat Han is good. And someone suggested Tara Brach. I used to have a good Yoga Nidra app I used before sleep. I found another Yoga Nidra app I haven't really explored. 

Interesting cross cultural mix there I guess. But perhaps there are universals. House with many rooms etc.