General chat

[tyme]

Hugs @NatureLover . Sorry to hear you have another month or so. I'm in Vic so we have daylight savings starting soon. 

But in a way, I'm glad this year wasn't as bad as last year's S.A.D.

Sounds tough at the best of times. 

Looking forward to hearing from you 🙂

[tyme]

I'm taking a big breath for you @Dimity . Fingers crossed that things will resolve for your shortly. 

Sitting with you.

[Patches59]

@Dimity @rav3n 

I only knew my paternal grandfather and my maternal grandmother.  Both other grandparents died years before I was born.

even at a young age I tolerated my grandfather.  From when I was about 4 or 5 yr old there was numerous disagreements between my parents and him due to him trying to control me same as he had his own children.

I was a favourite of my grandmother for few different reasons but I wasn’t spoilt.  I always knew I was allowed to do things that no one else was allowed to do.  I had a very special bond with my grandmother plus her youngest daughter.

I’ve been reading through the different activities in Wind down Wednesday @rav3n.  going to try to remember one or 2 in case am waiting ages in hospital tomorrow.  Need to arrive by 1pm, hope I’m not waiting for 2hrs plus to go into surgery like happened last time.

@Dimity weather can’t make up its mind here what it wants to do.  Has been sunny, cloudy, looking like it could rain with temperatures varying between cold to pleasant.

apart from glasses and phone, case is ready for tomorrow.  I laughed when I read part of pre admission info which said to bring overnight bag with items a,b,c,d ….. they would fit into my overnight bag.  Clothes I wear to hospital won’t fit also.  

I’ve been trying to fully clean inside, my back has other thoughts.  Only have vacuuming to do by now

what days are/were your specialist appointments?

[Dimity]

Glad you're all set for tomorrow @Patches59 . Do the cats go into care today?

Today's specialist appt was good, positive and helpful. It was the last post-surgery review following my surgery last February. I also got advice dealing with an ongoing problem going forwards.

Yesterday's appt was a bit confronting, the specialist was very critical of my postponing diagnostic endoscopy and pointed out previous troubling results that were worse than I'd thought. A couple of family members had insisted I not proceed until "putting my affairs in order" hence my legal gymnastics. I'm waiting again on the solicitor, so I still haven't made the appointment. And I don't know how to comply with the requirement for overnight monitoring after the procedure. 

I'll still need legal advice on another family matter (different family member) that's been distressing me for years and has heightened recently. 

@tyme @AuntGlow 

[Patches59]

I’m only in overnight this time @Dimity to meet hospital requirements of not being on my own for 12 hrs post procedure.  I will feed the cats their dinner not long before my friend comes to pick me up plus give them some treats.

Could staying overnight in the hospital for one night post procedure be an option for you?

My next procedure involves me being in hospital from a Monday to Saturday and not allowed to drive for 36hrs post discharge.  Cats will be at cattery that time from the Sunday morning for just over a week (30 November to 8 December).  I will be at home part of Saturday 6 December and all day Sunday without them.

outcome of today’s appointment sounds positive and you sound relieved.

sorry to hear other appointment wasn’t a positive or pleasant experience.  Hoping the legal aspect gets finalised soon so you can made appointment for the procedure.

Ongoing legal issues involving different family members sounds mentally exhausting.  Understandable you have been feeling overwhelmed.  I know what it’s like dealing with people who have different ‘views etc’ than each other.

main thing is remembering to take care of yourself.  It’s ok to put Tiger and yourself first.  “Need to take care of yourself as no one will do it for you” ….. words I grew up with

[Patches59]

I’m not an organised person @Dimity 

With my 2nd cataract surgery I didn’t start packing my case until the day before, didn’t pack all my medications.  

sitting in hospital waiting areas for more than 2hrs not that long ago is still on my mind.  Appears subconsciously I nervous and worrying about the procedure, nightmares getting worse each night.  Packed early in hope of keeping nerves/panic attacks at bay.

[rav3n]

@Dimity @Patches59 it's so lovely hearing about both your connections with your maternal grandmothers. it's interesting how they tend to be very connected with nature and they've passed on that connection/bond to you too.

both my grandfathers passed well before i was born. my maternal grandmother passed when i was 2 but i wish i'd known her, i've been told that she was a gentle soul. my paternal grandmother i don't get to see often as she's overseas, but she's quite active for someone in her 90s! she spends every moment she can out doors, walking around barefoot 😆 there's coffee estates and lots of greenery, plants, fruits, etc., around her house but unfortunately due to language barriers, i haven't been able to learn much from her.

@Patches59 hoping some of those strategies are helpful for you! since i won't be on tomorrow, i wish you all the best with tomorrow's procedure!! don't forget to pack some of your comfort items and squishies/fidget toys!! 💙

[Dimity]

Your grandmother's place sounds like a tropical paradise @rav3n . I'm sorry to hear of the language barrier. If you were with her there'd be so much transmitted through action and physical presence.

My paternal grandmother rarely spoke, and I didn't see her often - perhaps for a few days each year until i was about 10. I gather there was significant conflict between her and my mother. She was essentially homeless after my parents married, relying on others' kindness and hospitality. Her possessions remained packed in boxes until disposed of many years later.

@Patches59 

[Patches59]

@rav3n @Dimity   My grandmother (aka Nana) had a caring nature who loved spending time with her grandchildren that she got to see.  She was a sole parent for 30 yrs following death of her husband, their youngest child was 9yo.  She became full time carer of her youngest child who had MS.  I was 12yo when she passed away.

from mid primary school, my grandmother and I did the shopping together whilst my mum stayed with her youngest sister, my grandmother leaving me feel she needed my help.

myself and 2 younger cousins, approx 6, 7 & 8, didn’t do dishes at our homes.  Respective fathers built steps so the 3 of us could safely stand whilst washing and drying the dishes at our grandmothers.  She had a warped sense of humour and used to say in light hearted tone …. Bet you can’t do x,y,z.  As kids we found it fun to prove we could do whatever it was

[Patches59]

@Dimity @rav3n 

Hearing about your grandmothers is sad.

my grandmother faced hard times in her life.  

TW: Mention of DV

Content/trigger warning

Her mother used to lock herself and her 3 children (my grandmother was the oldest) in a room each time her husband came home drug as he was physically abusive.

Not long after my grandmother became a widow one of her sons became physically violent to her and his younger siblings.  As a teenager he was removed from his parents home by Police