Not sure if I can keep doing it anymore!

[Kit88]

Hi, I've been going through alot lately both physically and mentally. I have been diagnosed with schitzoaffective bipolar disorder, complex PTSD among others. No-one gets me. And the more I try seeking help the more of a hole I build for myself. Everyone is better off, they truely are!

I just feel again like giving up, I know it's best, not just for me but everyone!

But at the same time I'm torn, because I don't want to leave my son 😭 as much as I know it's best!

[tyme]

Gday @Kit88 ,

Thank you for posting. There is a lot in your post and it certainly sounds like there is a lot going on for you at this time.

I'm sorry to hear how tough things are. I'd encourage you to continue reaching out. Connection and a sense of belonging in a safe space can support you at this time. You are also welcome to 'let go' of things that have been boiling up inside you. 

You are not alone. There have been many members here who have experienced the pull between 'to live, or not to live'. I myself have experienced this many times. Yet I want you to know there is hope.

Hold on to that hope.

At any time, if you feel unsafe, please reach out to:

• Lifeline on 13 11 14
• beyondblue on 1300 224 636
• Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467
• 000 if in immediate danger

We are here for a chat, and we are sitting with you,

tyme

[Dimity]

Hello @Kit88 @moderator welcome, I'm so glad you've reached out. I hope you find the validation and support you need here to see the light over the rim of that black hole you're in right now. 

So many of us here will be able to relate. Me, I'm bipolar with severe depression and likely ptsd. Know you're not alone, that you're valued and worthy, and that you're so important to your son and all who care about you - including the forumites here.

If you'd like to reply to me or another member be sure to tag us in your message by typing @ then selecting our username from the pop-up list, to ensure we're notified of your post. I'm  Dimity, so you can tag me as @Dimity .

Love and light

Dimity

[Steven78]

I don't suffer from any of those ailments but I can't relate to the more help I try to find the worse I feel.. unfortunately there are things in life that can't be resolved ..Im at that point now where I just want to be dead . It would honestly be much better than this !!

[Historylover]

Hello @Kit88. I've just read your post and commiserate with you fully on the heaviness of your mood. I have no handy hints that will bring remedy but support is here. So many of us have been there, or are there. We understand. We can only send you best wishes and hope there will be a turn-around soon. Sending best wishes to you and your son. You clearly love him very much. Take care. 

[Historylover]

Hello @Steven78. I've just read your post and see you are in that awful place, too. I wish I had the answer but I'm still looking for it myself. Just keep going. I can only send you my best wishes and hope the weekend brings you a little brighter outlook. Take care of yourself!

[Kit88]

Thanks for the support but things are so hard right now, I can't even sleep anymore which just makes everything worse... I have failed! 

I don't think I can keep doing this anymore...

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Kit88,

I'm really sorry that you are going through such a tough time at the moment. I have sent you an email to check in with you so please respond when you can.

While SANE is here to support you as much as we can unfortunately we are not a crisis centre. If you do ever need immediate support please call:

- LIfeline on 13 11 14

- Beyondblue on 1300 224 636

- Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467

Please take care of yourself @Kit88 and know there are a lot of people on the forums who care about you and support you.

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather

[Kit88]

Thanks but I didn't receive an email. I'm struggling I really am. I'm trying to get my dr to refer me somewhere while on the phone waiting for sane to pick up. 

I don't know what to do anymore, I'm losing my mind ☹️ 

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Kit88, 

I used the email you supplied to SANE when you registered as a member. Maybe it is in your junk email box? It was basically to check on your safety at the moment. 

It's really good that you are reaching out to your GP and to the SANE counselling service. If you feel you are in imminent danger please phone 000.

Do you have someone you trust that can be with you such as a family member or a close friend? I would really encourage you to be with someone right now.  

Please continue to reach out and please call 000 if you need urgent help.

I'm so sorry that you are going through such a tough time.

FloatingFeather