Should I be worried about my husband - early signs of schizophrenia

[Worriedwifey]

Hi all, 

My husband (26M) faced a traumatic childhood and has a family history of schizophrenia. We’ve been together eight years and while he has gone through some dark times, as we all do, there’s never been anything overly serious.

This past week he has not been sleeping well, and saying some things that are ringing alarm bells like that he is having trouble figuring out what is real or not through the night and it’s keeping him up (shadowy figures, bad family members finding us, our son being taken etc.) This has come after we visited his family with our two-year-old and had some deep and meaningful conversations about how that made him feel, given that this was around the age that he started to experience some awful things.

I’m so glad he’s able to talk to me about all of this, and I want to reiterate that there is nothing serious that has happened. I’m more so curious about what signs I should be looking out for if this was to be something like schizophrenia. He can be a massive hypochondriac so I really do not want to approach it with him with that lens as I think he’s very likely to fixate on it. 

It’s hard as I feel like there would be a much clearer pathway if there was something obvious going on, and I could be making a big deal out of some bad sleep. Do I wait and see if it escalates? He is not very open to counselling. I’m open to any other resources that I can be pointed to! 

[rav3n]

hey there @Worriedwifey welcome to the forums!

recognising those alarm bells sounds pretty overwhelming for both your husband and you - i'm really glad to hear that he's able to talk to you about it openly, it's good that he has you to lean on. it can be tricky to say anything for sure, sometimes those signs can be related to stress, trauma, flashbacks, poor sleep, mental illness, etc. i like that you've approached it with curiosity, i think keeping an open mind is great! have you spoken to your husband about what you think? perhaps encouraging him to chat with a GP/therapist would be a good start too? i know you mentioned he isn't open to it, so perhaps exploring why he doesn't want to talk to someone about it? talking it out earlier can be helpful in reducing the severity of symptoms, and they might be able to provide some coping tools too.

here are some resources to check out that might be helpful in learning more about schizophrenia:

• Schizophrenia Fact Sheet
• Schizophrenia Guide
• Understanding Schizophrenia: Symptoms, Myths and Treatment - The SANE Blog

hope that helps you get started, let us know how you go 💙

[Appleblossom]

@Worriedwifey I am really glad you were able to have extended family contact which is important for family cohesion. I am glad your husband felt comfortable talking about things. It would make sense and be natural that memories and dreams would arise, and many people have experienced the lack of certainty about those in between states. I am glad you reiterated that nothing serious happened. 

I also had family history of so called schizophrenia (both parents). It is a fearsome label. Often associated with inadequate work, perception and parenting skills. I grew up with the fear and likelihood I would get it. It didn’t happen. I am old and well researched in the matter. I know the stats. 

It sounds as if you have a loving caring relationship. Hold firm to that, and hopefully your husband will work through his own trauma and put things in perspective. I guess reasonable boundaries and some talking through things will help. 

There can be a problem if family pathologise one member rather than face life issues openly and transparently. Many people question the biomedical model of schizophrenia and I would caution against hasty conclusions. Early intervention can be tricky as to whether it would help or alienate trust. A family therapist once cautioned me about self fulfilling prophecies. I have had a difficult time managing my anxieties about it all. Looking through things through a developmental and/or a trauma lens can be helpful.  What is fair and reasonable etc. its not easy. Do your due diligence, reach out as needed, but try and manage your anxiety. I am happy to talk, if you tag me. Yes as a mum, it can be hard cos then we will also worry about the so called genetics and the children. He might be a sensitive creative soul. I also married a man with a diagnosis of schizophrenia. He had a few hospitalisations before our marriage but none since. It didn’t work out as a marriage but he managed his life with out medication.