Lived Experience Forum

[Powderfinger]

@Anastasia 

I would really love to answer. I just am not able to. I am going to reply to a post in Happy New Years from shining star so that may be able to tell you some more news. I am not sure what I am going to write yet though. xx

[Powderfinger]

@Zoe7 

Sorry to hear about your teeth. They can be really painful. Thank you for sending lots of love. I hope this pain you are in starts to go really soon. 

[Powderfinger]

@Peri 

Not travelling so well. It has only been five days. Thank you for checking in. The light I think will take quite some time to find. 

Powderfinger x

[Powderfinger]

@Anastasia 

If you have anything to contribute here, I would appreciate it. 

I got an email from Rachel today. It was basically to say that she realises I may be under some financial stress at the moment if I have not found a housemate yet. I am paying some things back to her that was putting on her account. I am ahead with one thing and up to date with the other. The one I am up to date with is $40 remaining and the other I am ahead with does not need another payment till June this year. 

She said she is going to pay the $40 and not to worry about it and the other I can just start paying again in June. 

She closed it off by saying I wish you well on your healing. 

Actually it is probably not really right that I ask for your feedback. You possibly would not know anymore than I do. I understand if you can't provide any. 

I got in touch with an organisation here last week where I live. I have an appointment next week to go and talk about the trouble I am having with running the financial side of a business and what my goals are. (I want to buy a home) It is called money business. If they find I need more help they will refer me to their financial advisor. 

This other step is I am going to see a therapist. Not the type of therapist who digs in deep into your layers and wants to take you back into your past though. I told them it is not what I want and it is mostly what is stopping me from going. I am still very hesitant about it though. I know I need help sorting through such complexities and difficult emotions, talking about things that have happened. I am definitely not me, I actually dont remember me, I cant think about me during the relationship, I ahve very little understanding or insight why I feel what I feel and I actually cannot figure any of it out.  I have realised I cannot do it on my own because its just too far gone. One has been recommended to me by this organisation. I still have a very very long way to go. I guess it is a start. I will mkae inquiries once my head has been able to get around it properly. xx

[Anastasia]

Both sound like really good steps in the right direction hun!!

How are you? 

I have had you in my thoughts @Powderfinger 🤗

I'm off on a week away from Monday so wanted to touch base as I'll have limited access. I hope you get this before then. Love and hugs xox

[Powderfinger]

@Anastasia 

Not great. Been a hard two days so have stayed offline.  I understand you are going away and you will have lomited access. Tag me when you get back from being away. love you. 

Powderfinger

[Anastasia]

I'm sorry you're not great. Thank you for letting me know you saw my message x

Thinking of you beautiful. Keep tagging if you update as I do care and I'm interested to know how you are.

Love and hugs @Powderfinger 🤗💞🌸💐

[Powderfinger]

@Anastasia 

Thank you for your message. I've decided I'm not going to do updates for a while. I have to sort me out because this is getting out of control and I'm really not liking it. I have to get on with my life. The relationship is over, I've accepted it and I just cannot keep going the way I am. Updating here is helpful. However, I also have to get off the computer and get back into society at a pace I can manage. Thus path I'm on right now is not healthy. 

Enjoy your holiday. 

Much love 

Powderfinger

[Powderfinger]

@Anastasia 

Just saying hi. I didn't tag you at all this week in anything because I knew you went on holidays. I hope it has been enjoyable. 

[Anastasia]

Hi beautiful, how are you doing? @Powderfinger