Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Daisydreamer]

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@znp wrote:
a) It's constant and front of mind as much as I can make it.
b) I build routines - morning: take meds, eat banana, make coffee, meditate, then complete my journal where I list:
1. something I will read or write that day
2. a self-care skill I will use (often CBT based but not always)
3. self-nurturing I will do - and this is important, even if it's just I will listen to my favourite song while I sit on couch
Then in evening, more journal:
1. what did I achieve today (made the bed!)
2. what did I learn today (how to draw dragons)
3. what can I improve (validating my family)
4. what can I plan for tomorrow (take dog to vet)
5. what skill or strategy can I use to cope (hug the dog mindfully)

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Some great self care routines you have there @znp!

[Daisydreamer]

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@BPDSurvivor wrote:

What ideas do you have to prevent burnout and fatigue? What can we put in place to prevent getting to a point of breakdown?

Ive learnt to say 'NO' to people. I used to bend over backwards for people, but now I can say 'NO' in order to reduce the likelihood of burnout or fatigue.

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👏👏👏👏 

So important @BPDSurvivor!

[bipolarbunny]

What do you do when family won't help? I have older brothers who barely visit and are not interested in giving me a break cause as they see it, I don't have a life so she's my problem and my mum absolutely would not go into respite. My best option is to take her to her younger sisters for a few weeks, but lockdown has made that increasingly harder. 

BB 🐰💙

[znp]

Talking to my wife is the most important and also my psych. They are as wise as each other when it comes to what I should do to repair and heal.

[Hal1]

I really like these tips. Thank you. I have been feeling like I am going under and these strategies feel like a lifeline.

[Daisydreamer]

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@znp wrote:
Talking to my wife is the most important and also my psych. They are as wise as each other when it comes to what I should do to repair and heal.

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Sounds like you have some really strong relationships/connections in your life. Connection is a huge part of self care

[Shaz51]

yes relationships are soo important @znp , to have the love and support for each other 

[Windflowers]

I have found having other Carers who I can talk to during difficult times is invaluable. Then I always know it can be reciprocated when they need someone to listen. I have found other family members, work colleagues etc really don't understand, so people in the same situation who I know works best for me.

Also joining in Carer support groups and activities when they are available, as I find I need the structure to help me to schedule self care time and breaks.

[Hal1]

I agree. My sister has made all the difference.

[Daisydreamer]

So glad to hear you are finding these tips useful @Hal1