Looking after ourselves
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30-12-2020 11:03 AM
30-12-2020 11:03 AM
Decision to take time off from Rotary.
To those who read this, please hear what I'm saying. Thanks. This is a decision I know I've been needing to make. My head is only clearing extremely slowly and I cannot rush that process because it will create more stress and longer recovery time for me.
My thinking towards myself is negative due to a few things. Incredibly low self esteem, abuse and a dicky brain that is having trouble generating positivity.
I have been reflecting a lot these last couple of weeks, though especially in the last few days. I'm.aware that I have a lot of work to do. Rotary can be very time consuming and also it requires money.
The latter I actually wasn't aware of with Rotary. I've had two bad experiences so far with projects, the most recent one I withdrew from. I've been in touch with the president, she is aware of the reasons why and she understands. It was because of a very dominant and controlling Rotarian whom was doing the wrong thing in so many ways regarding this project.
It is the second time I have had this experience with the same Rotarian and apparently there are a few others too. The president is aware that it's likely the reason members have left over the years because of these dominant personalities. It's a major issue that the president needs to sort out. I could make a lot of suggestions but haven't been asked so I won't.
I have been involved long enough to see the problems in the club. The older long term members must allow changes to occur and stop dominating the newer members, putting fresh new ideas forward, and limiting the club's growth.
Anyhow, moving forward, I'm just no longer excited or passionate about Rotary. I'm not looking forward to going back on the 6th. These issues need strong and swift action. I feel like there is just no point to being there.
Aside from that, putting Rotary aside for the moment. My life is a heck of a mess. I need time to sort out the mess and problems. There are no quick fixes. There is a possibility that I have a long term recovery period with a part of my physical health which means my life will need to be changed somewhat. I have no ability to earn money with Rotary and an income is what I need to improve on.
What I want to do is take a six month break from Rotary so I can sort me and my life out. At the moment I do not see how Rotary will have a positive impact towards doing that. I.do not want to make the decision of leaving altogether but I do want a break.
I'm.feelimg quite angry as well that I was stopped from doing things that would have made a difference because of people's desire to control and dominate. I took a hard stand with the president about it.
On the other hand, I do love Rotary. I never would have gone through what I did to become a member. I know I will miss aspects of it. I also know I need to really take good care of myself right now as I'm really not in a good place in myself.
I've been through a huge rollercoaster of hell for 2020 and honestly I am so wiped out still. I want to make good choices for myself. My head is struggling to do so in my own.
These are my struggles.
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30-12-2020 06:36 PM
30-12-2020 06:36 PM
Re: Decision to take time off from Rotary.
@Anastasia do you have any thoughts/advice to offer on this? I'm.struggling.
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30-12-2020 08:14 PM - edited 30-12-2020 08:33 PM
30-12-2020 08:14 PM - edited 30-12-2020 08:33 PM
Re: Decision to take time off from Rotary.
Thank you for tagging me. This question is an easy one for me to answer but I completely understand why it would be a difficult one for you to make.
First and foremost it is vital for you to put your needs first right now no exceptions. This will be the catalyst in getting better. Difficult I know but vital. So here's my thoughts...give Rotary a break. It sounds like you have voiced your concerns around the carry on and hopefully they will have really listened enough to make some significant changes. It is common for dominant/controlling people to spoil these types of clubs sadly. I do hope they heard you.
In time, when (and only when) and even if
(a big one) you want to return you can test the water and see if you were heard and the necessary changes were made. If they were and you are happy to, you can take part again. If they weren't and it still is unsatisfactory then wave them goodbye and Goodluck. How does that sound?
Ultimately it is your decision to make but these are my thoughts based on our friendship and what I feel would serve you at the moment. 👂👀 💪✔️🤗💞
@Maggie tagging you as you always have good advice x
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31-12-2020 01:51 AM
31-12-2020 01:51 AM
Re: Decision to take time off from Rotary.
Dear friend @Anastasia
Thanks for answering the call. Your thoughts and advice is highly appreciated. I found myself feeling within that it was so right. I felt peace and I don't often feel it. I'm going to go ahead. I will write more tomorrow. I'm buggered. Lots of love to you dear heart. ♥️♥️🌷🌈💐
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31-12-2020 07:08 AM
31-12-2020 07:08 AM
Re: Decision to take time off from Rotary.
@Powderfinger As I read your post, I think you might have answered your own question. Taking a break sound, to me, like a necessary choice, to relieve some pressure, and give you some breathing space. You can return when you feel able.
Sometimes a change can help, even if it’s just a routine change.
I do understand putting your needs first could be tricky, but might be worth the risk.
Take care @Powderfinger 💜
@Anastasia 💜🌹🌹
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31-12-2020 11:30 AM
31-12-2020 11:30 AM
Re: Decision to take time off from Rotary.
Thank you. I'm on my way to see my doctor for a much needed appt. I will be taking an extended break from Rotary. It's not a matter of should I anymore. I need to. I'm in a bad place. I'll talk more later. Xxxx
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01-01-2021 12:29 PM
01-01-2021 12:29 PM
Re: Decision to take time off from Rotary.
I haven't been able to get back to you. Just so much going on. I've got a woodworking lesson this morning and will be responding this afternoon. Can't wait to speak with you both. Doing my best to take it slow today. Lots of updating to do.
Speak soon.
Powderfinger.
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01-01-2021 12:48 PM
01-01-2021 12:48 PM
Re: Decision to take time off from Rotary.
Oh how exciting!!!
Enjoy @Powderfinger and I look forward to your update when you are ready (no rush xxx)
Hello dear @Maggie how is your furbaby? 🤗🌸
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01-01-2021 03:34 PM
01-01-2021 03:34 PM
Re: Decision to take time off from Rotary.
@Anastasia thank you for saying no rush. I'm meticulous about correspondence. I'm trying to not be so meticulous and take a bit if a different approach, do I don't get so stressed. Speak soon. Going for a nap. So tired.
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01-01-2021 03:45 PM
01-01-2021 03:45 PM
Re: Decision to take time off from Rotary.
@Powderfinger I hope you can rest.
Take your time. 💜💜
@Anastasia furbaby is doing ok. I tweak her meds if needed, it seems to be working.
I hope you are ok after a big day. 💕💕💕💕