Would be nice if dealing with banks was a straight forward, easy process. Sorry to hear things are not going that way for you currently @Dimity
About 3mths ago I started trying to rebuild relationship with 2 specific relatives. Hoped for mutually built bridges. Conversations sounded promising. Last comment came from them both. Comments that turned out to not be true. Left me feeling hurt and angry. 2 relatives who, due to their decisions, I no longer have anything to do with.
for peace of mind and stress levels, I think at times it’s not worth putting effort into people who don’t want to reciprocate. My POAs and next of kin, I hear from them twice a year (if I’m lucky). One of those unpleasant things that happens at times as people get older
